Personal Testimony

I didn't grow up in a family who went to church every weekend. I didn't go to religion like the majority of my friends. I didn't read the Bible or know much about God. My mom is Greek Orthodox and my dad is Catholic. When I actually did go to church, I was splitting my time between the two and not really taking away anything from either one. That's not to say that the beliefs or practices are wrong, it just wasn't for me. When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend Alexis invited me to youth group with her at the Chapel at Crosspoint, which is a Christian church. I loved the message and going to small group so much that I decided that night to give my life to Jesus. However, I don't think I fully understood what that exactly meant and the sacrifice would be. I kept on living life almost the same with some added prayers and going to church weekly. I was going through the motions but not really doing anything to actually live a life filled with God. Things got bad at home between my parents and between my dad and I. Everything was starting to add up around my junior year in high school and I was taking it all to heart. I hid the pain and hurt from everyone, even the majority of my best friends had no idea. I was shutting God out of almost all aspects of my life and trying to control my life. I went to bed crying almost every single night. I heard of others using self-harm as a way to cope so I began to use it as my way to cope. I was this girl who seemed like everything was okay on the outside but deep down, I was slowly losing any grip I had on my life. It got so bad to the point where I actually contemplated suicide. Thankfully I talked to a friend about it and she helped me through it. However, the struggles still were there and I continued to harm myself.
During senior year, things started to look better. I went months without harming myself and I was content with most aspects of my life. I just received my letter of acceptance from THE Ohio State University which was my dream school. I had an amazing job with amazing friends who loved me. But the excitement started to slowly die down and once again, I began the self harm.
I came to college with the hopes of starting new because I was not known by one single person on campus. I decided to go to a church on campus called h2o. I felt so lost in life that finally I thought maybe going to church would help. That was the best decision of my life. Since September of 2012, I have been to church every weekend, I greet at church, I was baptized this past November by one of my best friends, I went to a fall retreat, and spent a week in South Carolina on a church trip focusing on the love of Jesus. This past March marks a year that I have been clean from self harm.
I am so happy with my life. When I feel like I'm struggling, hurt, or not myself, I pray about it and turn to the love of Jesus for security and strength. And He never fails to provide me with just that and much more. The community I have at church is the most amazing bond and friendships I've ever seen and have experienced. I am living such a different life now. I don't seek attention from people to try and be happy. I decided to give up drinking because I was doing stupid things while I did. And I have decided to fully surrender my life to Jesus and just trust in God's plans.

Life is so beautiful. I can't imagine missing out on all of this, had I committed suicide. Yes, I am broken, sinful, and imperfect. But I'm also forgiven, filled with grace and love, and made clean by God's word. <3

Today's Sermon

It's amazing how broken, fragile, decaying, and impure we are here on earth. Yet when we know Jesus and then die, death is overcome and we live an eternal life in Heaven. We are made strong, pure from the inside out, glorious, and powerful. We are currently these tiny little seeds that are imperfect and are just "okay." But if we know Jesus during life on earth and then we die, we turn into the beautiful flowers that the seeds were made to turn into. We turn into these flowers because all of our life as a seed, Jesus is loving us and we are loving back and investing our time in living a life for Jesus.

Imagine the most beautiful thing or place you have ever seen. That is just a tiny picture of what you will look like and what your life will look like once you die. Words can't even capture how amazing and beautiful eternal life will be.

I can't wait to one day be in Heaven with Jesus and family and friends who have passed and also knew the Lord <3

Life Without God

I don't understand how someone could live a life without God. I try to think of my life without God and I can't help but feel emptiness. I can't even imagine there being no God. If I didn't read the Bible, I would honestly not have any life guidelines, I would have no self forgiveness or forgiveness for anybody else. I would feel as if my life was not fulfilled and like I was living for no reason; after all, I live this life with the purpose that God gave me and to one day go on to eternal life in Heaven. What would I do when I felt empty, alone, helpless, or broken? Where would I take all of my mistakes? What or who would I thank for all of the awesome and amazing things in my life? What book would I read for any answers that I needed in my life? I would probably need a million different books that thought they had the right answers to life. Who would I put my trust in? I would have to plan every aspect in my life and hope that my plan comes together. I would have to find joy and happiness in materialistic things and other people who are just as broken if not even more broken than I. All of the weight of the brokenness of the world, my faults, shame, guilt, and every aspect in life would reside on my shoulders. I just can't imagine.

If I didn't have God and Jesus, I would definitely be lost. I would have to put my trust in others and confide in other people's word. That's one scary thought because everyone is broken and sinful since nobody is perfect. People are always letting people down, breaking promises, walking in and out of others' lives, and not living up to the high expectations that we set for them.

When someone hurts me, I pray for them. When somebody needs help and is broken (including myself), I pray. When I don't know what to do in a situation, I pray. For everything, I try to look to God for answers whether it's by prayer, worship, or the Bible. Take that all away from me and I'm left with no answers and a whole lot of sadness, emptiness, and I would be absolutely at a loss of words.

If you're a believer, try to imagine your life without God. I know I sure can't.